The world has set strange standards in matters concerning choice of life partners:
- Does he have money?
- Is she beautiful and physically appealing?
- Does he follow a modern fashion and lifestyle?
All these and many other senseless things are considered while setting aside matters such as character development and Christian maturity. But we must ask the real questions: What should a man look for in a woman he is to marry? What should a woman look for in a man she intends to join herself to?
As a matter of fact, relationships should picture — even if not perfectly — the relationship Christ has with His church. Just as Christ gave Himself up for the church, so must love in a Christian relationship be selfless, pure, and based on principle rather than passion alone.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word...
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Courtship Is Not a Game
God has never left His children to grope in darkness regarding relationships. Courtship, in His design, is not for flirtation, experimentation, or self‑gratification. It’s a sacred step in the journey toward building a godly home. The heart should never be given away lightly.
“Few have correct views of the marriage relation. They make light of this important step… It is a matter that is to last through time and eternity.
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The decision of whom to court must be prayerful and Spirit‑led, not emotion‑driven. Our feelings must be submitted to God’s will.
Character Above All
Beauty fades, wealth can vanish, but character endures. A godly man should look for a woman who fears God, loves truth, and exhibits the fruit of the Spirit. A godly woman should seek a man who is spiritually grounded, humble, and committed to leading in righteousness.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
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“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?
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A life partner should help you draw closer to God, not pull you from Him.
Look for Spiritual Compatibility
It’s not enough to simply be “in the church.” True compatibility is based on shared convictions, spiritual vision, and an agreement on life purpose. Two cannot walk together unless they are agreed.
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
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“Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is to unite her destiny is worthy.
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The same goes for men. Ask: Will this person be a help or a hindrance in my walk with Christ and in my mission?
Pray and Wait on God
God, who brought Eve to Adam, is still in the business of writing love stories — when we let Him. Don’t rush. Do not settle. Seek counsel. Wait on the Lord.
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
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“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
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Many who have rushed into courtship based on feelings alone have ended up in years of misery. But those who waited upon the Lord found peace, joy, and purpose in their homes.
Who should you court? Not the richest, the most beautiful, or the most charming person. But one who walks with God, respects His Word, and will love you with a self‑sacrificing, Christlike love. The best courtship begins with friendship, blossoms in purity, and ends in a Christ‑centered union.
“Make Christ first and last and best in everything.
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Take time to study Chapter 3 of Adventist Home: "Choosing a Life Partner", and search the Scriptures. Let God — not the world — guide your heart.